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Unselected man


I have a friend who is a writer. He is unsuccessful as Kilgore Trout,  but he is not at all famous like Kilgore Trout. I got a permission from him to write one of his plots here. The title is ``Unselected man''.

Billy is a successful businessman. He is also a charming person. But, he never succeeded with a woman. Actually, his mother also put some distance with him.
The success of business didn't bring him a joy. He tried to find what brings him a joy: looking around the world, try out many hobbies... When he came back to his town, he is only interested in teaching children. He could not find nothing can make a world better other than education.
He quieted his job. He put all his money to establish a small school. He chased his dream and to find a partner who may share his life. But no success. Whenever he feels a woman, the woman said the same answer: ``You are nice. I like you. But, it doesn't feel right.''
One day, he found a story about a polar bear story of Berlin's zoo. Knut is a polar bear, he was abandoned by his mother when he was born. Later he lived with a few female bears together, but they never mated.  He died and people found out that he had a brain disease.  One hypothesis is that maybe this is the reason he was abandoned and no mated. The mother and the female bears just felt it. 
Billy thought one thing. He went to a hospital and find some abnormality in his brain. He thought that is the reason all the women feel something not right on him. His dream was having children and teach them about the world, but he believe it will never happen. One day, he closed his room with black tapes and died. 
The selection of the title is natural selection. The man unselected by natural selection. Maybe I could not summarize his story well, but the main character, Billy, suffered living without accepted. His brain problem was very special in the story, any women feel it. That crystallized to the word, ``It doesn't feel right.'' He tried to live for children, however, he was not selected by the nature. I felt that this is an interesting as an Gedankenexperiment, but not as a story.

I asked Billy (the author), ``Is alive not good sometimes?'' He answered, ``If one suffered because of living, I would say no. I understand some depression patients who didn't feel sad, but, they just didn't feel joy and interesting in the world. That is hard. How I can say them to live.'' I was surprised since I know he suffered such problem. I try to continue, ``I think a life cannot be taken away by a person.'' Though I can not say anymore. He said, ``I agree this ending is not good. It is not yet really published, I wish I could change the end. But, I can not see any other ending so far.'' ``It's too hard to live if a person never accepted. I can easily say you should live if it is just saying, but I don't know what is the end of this story.''
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